Hidden Season

How do I start talking about one of the hardest things to describe… It is something that is on my heart, but I struggle to convey it in words. First of all, I’ll describe my personal feeling about it which everyone hidden season is different, but they all have the same resulted outcome.

Hidden season is basically equivalent to slowly resetting a broken bone it hurts and you would rather live with your dysfunction than deal with the pain. Lately I’ve definitely felt betrayed, confused, and annoyed when it comes to certain people getting positions over me. I think part of the hidden season is learning this type of trust and faith in God that if he wants me there I will be there as long as I am faithful. Although this concept is mind-knowledge definitely hasn't made it to the heart yet, and I’ve come to the realization of that when I feel myself being upset when others get things I feel like I would do better at or deserve. One of my mentors has a saying that, “If someone get promoted or opportunities that you want does your spirit rise up like a snake or are you like a worm gentle and easy.” I think about that constantly… If I’m being real I had a moment where every part of me rose up and felt hurt. We were at camp and a position I had wanted and had done in the past successfully wasn't given to me. I truly did try to serve the person with the position, but huge part of me wanted them to fail and you can’t truly serve someone with part of you having bad intentions. This my friends is pride, it makes us do shameful things to feel justified, valid, seen, heard, accomplished, etc. The root of pride is INSECURITY and insecurity is a big problem with a simple, but painful solution. The solution to insecurity is know who God says you are and base your identity off of it, but the execution is not basing our identity off of titles, positions, achievement, personality, friends, followers, success, looks, and anything really. Simple explanation of the hidden season is God shaving off everything we base our identity off that isn't him. OUCH. Slowly, I’m learning I’ve based majority of my identity off of my gifts, talents, achievements, looks, leadership, and social skills- this really doesn’t fly with our God. A major realization is if God actually placed where I feel called to right now… I would screw it up big time which checks me from running out of the season. The part of me that can see the dream God has placed in my heart is learning to control my feelings. Sometimes it wins, but sometimes my flesh does and in those moments I run to God and thank him for keeping me in isolation.

When we talk about isolation I would like to remind you all of Joseph, and I bet he never thought he was getting out of a metaphorical and literal pit. I would like to focus on Joseph's story primarily when he interpreted the cup bearers dream. Joseph reveals that he will be released and won’t be killed which the cupbearer promises that he won’t forget Joseph and will basically try to get him out of jail. Needless to say he forgot, but how do you truthfully forget someone who revealed what your dream meant… unless God caused him to forget Joseph. In times when it doesn’t make sense why we are hidden or forgotten, we can have some comfort in knowing we aren’t alone nor is this unusual in God’s processes.

Going back to wishing I was in that position at camp, I remember being upset in worship with the situation and I was like God why? Clearly he said, “I will hide you until it doesn’t hurt” and still stings as it did a few days ago. It is hard for God to use someone who wants to be somewhere else. When we truly go where we are called, but haven’t learned to be content where God has placed us then we will never be truly satisfied and fully trusting God. When we crave the fruit of the next season we will never harvest the fruits and lessons from our current season. The process is painful and not glamorous, but there is those moments were you know a year ago or two months ago you would have blown up or been upset, but instead you celebrate them or you filled with peace instead of jealousy that is what makes the season worth it. Great things always take time and cost something.

#jesus #hidden #walkwithchrist #camp