This place sucks

I recently just got back from a study trip to Israel, and the pretty basic statement it was life-changing is an understatement. I learned insights about the Bible that made it come alive, but more importantly, I realized my heart was at home there. I fell in love with the country the first night when we got to see a sunset and explore the hillside. It's a hard feeling to describe, but it is kind of like when you work out doing a new exercise and you get sore somewhere you did not even know you had a muscle. Israel in a way is like that, and I did not realize I could feel that way about somewhere I just arrived at, but quickly I felt at home. Every day felt like I had finally come back home, and in this once foreign country I felt as though I belonged. As you can imagine these feelings came with executing reality that in a few days I will be heading back to the states. Every time, that fact would pain me with heartache and the last few days felt as though I was mourning a lost one. The last day, I tried to savor every minute taking a million mental pictures, and that night I ugly cried as I packed my suitcase. Saying goodbye was hard, and luckily I got a window seat for the first flight so I could look out the window as if I'm in a dramatic movie or music video. Tears streamed down my cheek as the actuality that every minute in the air meant miles away from Israel.

If you have been reading this so far sorry it sounds like an emotional pity party, but I swear there is some nuggets of wisdom coming.

Crying is my least favorite thing in the world, and I am not exaggerating; it makes me mad. I kept trying to lean into God through worship, but a little voice just kept saying how he is good? How could a Good God send you somewhere to bring you back? I wish I could say I took captive of those thoughts, but honestly, I just tried to drown them out. The next few weeks back were painful, to say the least, because why in the world was I struck in Mandeville. I did not understand how I could come back to a place that my heart does not soar in and does not feel at home. I felt as though I had no motivation to do anything because my feelings weren't aligned with my location. I knew God had called me here, but the vision of why was fading. One day I prayed and asked God to show me why I am here, and he said stop. He brought me back to a moment on the trip where we were learning about the pools of Silom and how Jesus healed there. I recall thinking about how amazing it was that Jesus stopped and took time to heal them, and God at this moment said who are you stopping for? Sadly I knew no one, and it troubled me as I realized I was caught up in the wrong things. I am in school for ministry and practically live at Church of the King, but I was not involved in what Jesus is doing. So what does Jesus stop for and how can we get involved in it.

Jesus stops for people. Frequently we forget this, especially the deeper we go into ministry or the church realm. We no longer surround ourselves with broken and lost people, and we forget what it was like to be lost. If you are like me, then you probably get caught up in tasks, work, or your own life and forget to look outside your circle and then realize I am missing the mark. The goal is people, and if people are not in it, we don't get to claim it is Jesus's work. Now I am not saying that we do nothing and just be going wherever, but what I am saying is, does our schedule allows us to stop for people? Are people the focus of our plans and days? I want to stop labeling tasks as ministry and start participating in the miracles of transformation. It was a slap in the face when God told me this because I am a perfectionist and want to be hitting bull's eye all the time. However, God is not so much like that; he asks us to slow down and look up. Now that we know the goal is people, what exactly does that mean or look like?

I think it means radiant love in small moments and to the people who may feel overlooked. Have you ever asked a cashier how they are doing and truly cared? Try it I dare you because you might end up getting to pray over them and invite them to church. You know the person who works the front desk at the gym figure out their name, and I guarantee you it will make their day. In the little moments, let's look for opportunities to be love.

Secondly, be looking for opportunities. I made it a goal when I got home from Israel to tell one person about Jesus a week, and I can tell you I saw more opportunities than one why because I was looking. If we start focusing on something, suddenly we see it everywhere, and we should be looking for any chance we have to tell people about the guy who saved our lives. I think also look for ways to serve others, and surprisingly it is super easy. Maybe it's holding the door open or helping someone carry their groceries.

Finally, keep staying connected to Jesus. We are called to be like Jesus, and our lives should reflect it. Whether we are in the mundane or in our promised land, we are still called to be like Jesus. Last little rant, but just because you do not love the place you are in does not mean you are not called there. Not every place God calls us is comfortable, but every position has a purpose. Our feelings and comfort cannot be a dedicator to our faithfulness or fruitfulness, and our purpose and mission should cause us to keep going with endurance even in the sucky parts.

More awesome blog posts to come,

xx

Sabina

#walkwithchrist #jesus #christianity